Welcome to my fatal flaw. Throughout my life, I’ve always
had trouble finishing projects that I’ve started. I’ve tried writing novels,
short stories, songs, articles- you name it. I’ve completely absorbed myself
into projects I believed in, and then suddenly dropped them out of the blue,
pouring that borderline-uncontrollable energy into another project until I’ve
had nothing left to give. Why do I do this to myself?
While I’m still trying to figure that out, the best answer I’ve
been able to come up with is that I work best when there’s a deadline. Finishing
essays for school was never a problem for me, and I had no trouble finishing
articles for my high school’s newspaper. When I was in a band, finishing songs
was possible because others were relying on me, and I wasn’t alone in the
writing process. But when I’m left to my own devices with nobody holding me
accountable, I can’t seem to finish things I start.
2018 is the year that will change (or start to change,
anyway). I am going to hold myself accountable and finish my creative projects.
Creating this blog was a step in that direction. But the creative project I’ve
been the most eager to make strides on is my solo music. This past October, I
decided that I will no longer rely on others to achieve my dreams. I realized
that although I loved being in a band, I was leaving myself vulnerable to
others suddenly losing interest- which is essentially what led to its downfall
(perhaps I will tell that story another day). I was angry and sick of constantly
assuming that I didn’t have the skills or talent to just write and release
music alone. So I decided to start writing solo songs, which was completely new
territory for me. I was convinced I couldn’t sing until one of my former
bandmates heard one of my demos (that I intended on having him sing) and
freaked out. He was completely in love with my voice, and said that with some
training I could sound incredible. I was dumbfounded. I never had the intention
of singing anything, ever. But he gave me the confidence to start trying. He even
started giving me lessons, as he’s trained in opera and is a classical
composition major.
I can finally say today that I have successfully finished a
song I started writing last November. I didn’t give up the way I have with past
projects- I just took a short break from writing it, and came back to it with a
new mindset. I was worried that I wouldn’t come back to it at all (if the past
was any indication), but I pulled through for myself and achieved something I’ve
been dreaming of for years.
For those of you who are interested, I wrote an acoustic
song that I intend on recording in a professional studio. 2018 will be the year
I accomplish this goal. I’m so close already- the song is written, I have a title
and art for it, and a name to release it under (stay tuned!). All that’s left
is fine-tuning it to ensure that it will be the best I can possibly make it.
2018 will be my year.
To tide you over until I record and release my song, please
take the time to support independent musicians by checking out Get Off My Lawn
Records, a co-op of artists pooling their resources to create cool stuff:
Get 10% off with discount code ninja1
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